Millennials are so technologically advanced that we can now talk to people we don’t really know casually and without having to feel weird about it.
The breakdown of some friendships can lead to feelings of worthlessness, isolation and cause upset. It’s a good problem to have. However, as INFJs are true introverts who don’t enjoy calling a lot of attention to themselves, this tactic usually only works in small groups. Meaning, INFJs can use Extroverted Feeling to comprehend others’ emotions and frame of mind, as well as manipulate the general mood of the moment. Don’t ever lower your standards or be something you’re not just to make friends. It is too much responsibility to be your life partner and your only friend. Think of it this way; even if you do come off as a bit weird, the other person might enjoy it because they walk to the beat of their own drum too. That estimate, by the way, is generous. But in reality, they are the biggest red flags of horrible friend-mitments there ever were. Even though they may like to speak about a particular interest, they may be too worried to do so or may be unsure of whether the other person is engaged in the conversation.
I barely give enough time to the ones I have. Even when INFJs make a new acquaintance, we’re likely to have difficulty moving beyond that stage. But now that I know people, I know that this is one of the assorted pleasantries they pass around when they, like most of our generation, are horrible at making friendship commitments (or, as we will now refer to them, “friend-mitments”). Often times you will hear people say that they like social media because it helps them keep in touch with people who are important to them.
When people feel especially anxious, they may get tongue-tied or forget what they want to say altogether. Yet many Christians I know struggle in the area of relationships.
In a perfect world of parenting, mothers are the eternal nurturers who will sacrifice all for their children's safet... You're sitting in bed, and all of a sudden, you wake up with a flash of heat that runs through your body. We’ve all heard many times over that quality outweighs quantity, and this couldn’t be more true than when referring to friendships. And hey, maybe just let me know when you are free and I’ll let you know that I’m not.”.
The truth is I don’t take the time to create new friendships. As natural people-pleasers, we never want to make anyone feel “put out” and will go to great lengths to ensure this doesn’t happen. It would help if you came up with a strategy that works for you. We need to hang out soon.”, The blood drains from my face. I finally understood myself and have chosen to embrace my unique personality type. But 98% of the time it appears on the Internet, it says, “Hey, I appreciate your Internet presence and you as a person, but I refuse to take this conversation to a more intimate medium. Introverts and empaths often struggle to make friends. Do you ever have invites to an office party or other social event, yet you always turn them down? You can have a “girl-date” or a “guy-date.” Make plans as you would with a romantic partner, and then stick with the plan. The truth is I don’t take the time to create new friendships. Why is it that having a social life seems much like going on a date?
Yet I shy away from group gatherings and of course, the ever-dreaded small talk. Remember, relationships in the platonic world are like those in the dating world; things take time. It can be difficult to understand other people’s perceptions of situations, therefore what they feel is appropriate, may be considered as socially unacceptable. But of course, as with all beneficial relationships, both parties need to put in the work. Sadly, this is all a figment of your imagination. Approach someone first? Why do some people seem to be a social butterfly with friends all around them, but others struggle to find any meaningful relationships?
This desire can be so strong that we often bottle things up, sweep them under the rug, or internalize our negative feelings when something bothers us. My understanding of friend-mitments was shockingly low. Do what feels right for you when it comes to your buddies.
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